Though romantic comedies would have us believe that two people in love find a way to overcome all obstacles to be together, real life is not always that well organized. Love is not always enough to make a relationship last. Still, romantic love can be strong enough to convince people to stay in relationships that are unhappy, unfulfilling, and even unhealthy. Sometimes, they do not even realize how bad the relationship is for them. In some cases, this is just a simple chemical reaction that makes the person think they are in love due to a dopamine release. These chemicals can overwhelm logic. While feeling good and in love is great, the feelings alone are not enough to build a strong foundation. Below are a few reasons to let someone go, even if you are in love.
Your Needs Go Unmet
Every person has requirements in a relationship that need to be met. These may be emotional in nature, like needing quality time each week or functional, like the other person being good at money management. When one partner feels shorted, it is important to communicate. If the partner refuses, it is probably best to move on. One reason people may stay in these relationships is the view society takes on singleness. This is something to ignore for your own health. Break it off and find someone who cares about your needs.
You’re Trying to have Your Needs Met by Others
When a family emergency arises or you have great news to share, who do you call first? If it is not your partner, then it is not a healthy relationship. If you are constantly running to a “work husband or work wife” for support, anyone other than your partner, then you are not getting the support you need. Seeking either emotional or physical fulfillment outside the relationship means it is time to end the relationship.
You’re Scared to Ask for More
It can be tough to ask for more from your partner when you are not getting what you need, but having an open line of communication is key to a long term, healthy partnership. This does not make you seem needy; it means you know what you want and need. Not doing so out of fear or to prevent feeling like a burden means you are worried it will not be well received. This prolongs an unfulfilling relationship rather than saving it. If you cannot overcome this fear, seek help or separate.
Friends and Family Do Not Like the Relationship
Though friends and family cannot dictate who you love, if they are not supportive of the relationship, take note. These are the people that love, support, and want the best for you. Trust them. If you start to push them and their concerns aside or lie to them and yourself, becoming isolated, then it is time to move on.
You Feel Obligated to Stay
People are more likely to stay in relationships that time and effort have been invested in, but time does not limit necessarily mean success. Some people stay in unhealthy relationships because of the time invested. Still, putting more time in may not make things better. If both partners are not willing to work on things, then it may be best to leave. Try everything first, especially counseling and especially when children are involved. However, even this should be limited to a year.
You Don’t Like Your Partner
Though it sounds unlikely, you can love someone you do not like. If this is the case, day to day may be okay, but it will be nearly impossible to get through any difficulties. All couples disagree at times, but those in a healthy relationship keep the mindset that the other person will be there with them. It is never easy to walk away from someone you love, even when things are not working, but be logical and walk away if necessary.
Though it is hard to understand, it is possible to love an abusive partner. Many women who were abused actually saw their partner as highly dependable or affectionate. This can result in people staying longer than they should. However, it may be isolation, extortion, and physical violence that keep a person where they are in an abusive relationship. When it comes to abuse of any type, safely find a way out as a show of love to yourself.