When you are a woman in a relationship or considering entering into one, it can be confusing. It may be that you meet someone who you like, but there are certain behavioral things that rub you the wrong way. This is especially true when it comes to jealousy. The one thing we must remember about jealousy is that it is not always obvious if a guy is jealous. Some are great at hiding it. Still, there are ways to recognize jealousy and it is important to identify it because it could affect your future relationship. Below are some of the signs of jealousy and what it can mean if he is hiding it.
Men need validation and because of this need, they look for more validation when they are jealous. To recognize jealousy, watch for behavioral changes. Compare this to when you know he was not jealous. Men get jealous for a variety of reasons. They believe that it is their role to win a woman over and convince her that they are worthy of undivided attention. IF you are talking to another man, they have not earned your full attention and jealousy can ensue. He will want your full attention on him. A bit of jealousy can be good, but intensity and reaction matters. Jealousy over small things, like saying hi to a male coworker, is a sign of something toxic and controlling. Jealousy over you spending alone time with a guy, is appropriate. As long as he is not possessive or domineering, then slight jealousy is a good thing. It means he is attracted and wants something special between the two of you.
When possessiveness and intense jealousy is present, then you need to walk away quickly and in a safe manner. for example, if you see a male friend at the supermarket and stop to say hello and then your guy sulks all day or accuses you of flirting, you have a problem. If the fact you have guy friends is a problem, he is possessive, controlling, and emotionally insecure.
Below is a list of ways to tell if he is jealous:
- He Gets Sulky – If you talked to someone else and his face tone, voice, and attitude turns into a frown then he is showing signs of being jealous.
- He is Hot and Cold – When a man is insecure and jealous, he may start acting strange. From time to time and without reason, he may withdraw his attention so you go after him. He wants you to “prove” you care. This is bad because it shows a lack of maturity and an inability to communicate openly.
- He Goes Crazy if You Have Fun Without Him – Missing the person you love is normal, but healthy jealousy will have him comment on being sorry he missed out on a fun time. If your partner does not accept you have a life outside of him, it is a bad form of jealousy and points to deep insecurity.
- Shows Up by Surprise – Just because you are together doe not mean you do not lead separate lives. If he randomly shows up to places you are as a surprise, it is probably about possessiveness. Healthy relationships have trust.
- He Does Not Like Others Praising You – An emotionally healthy man may get a bit jealous if a movie star says his wife is beautiful, but he will still be proud. An overly jealous man will be upset the complement came from anyone but him. If your man cannot hide that he is jealous over others admiring you, then there is a problem.
- He Does Not Like Your Friends – People often meet through mutual friends, but if he does not like any of your friends, then there is a problem. If he complains about any attention your friends pay you and wants you to distance from them, he is trying to be controlling.
- He Stalks You – Social media is just part of daily life now and whether you are an avid user or not, others can share photos of your private moments. It can be normal for a guy to get jealous if someone is liking too many photos or you are doing the same to them. However, if someone complains about any comments you make and hovers over your online presence then jealousy has gone too far.
- He Makes Your Decisions – If your partner is making decisions for you without your consent, then there is a problem. You have a brain to make your own choices. If you are in a serious relationship, decisions affect both of you, so both of you should be involved. If your man always speaks on your behalf, he is being possessive. There is a dividing line. If your man suggests something, but does not force it then it’s a romantic gesture, if he forces you, then it is a problem.
- He Makes Fun of What You Like – People like different things, but there should be respect for the other person even if you do not care for the same things. A jealous guy will tear down what you like instead of respecting it. This is a way to destroy your self-esteem which should never happen.
- Private Information – If he wants access to all your private information, demanding it, there is a problem. Relationships require trust and wanting your PIN number, phone code, and social media passwords is a red flag. If he asks and you say no, but he keeps demanding, walk away.
- He Wants to Make Your Jealous – If he wants you to be jealous of him and does stuff to make you behave that way, he is controlling you. This is not normal behavior and you should cut ties.
- He is Always Present – If he is with you in body or spirit everywhere, not wanting you to go anywhere he cannot be by your side, yet he wants you to leave him alone when he wants it, he is controlling and overly jealous. Watch out for a man who will not let you have your space.
- He Says He Feels Bad and You Feel Guilty – Jealous men are masters of narcissistic manipulation. They only care about themselves and put on a show about how bad they feel to make you feel guilty. This is then leveraged against you. If he tries to make you feel bad when things are not your fault, it is a problem.
- He Stops Talking – A sign of a jealous guy is that he stops talking to you when he wants you to know he is upset. This is an immature reaction and is unhealthy. If he does not grow up, you need to get out.
- He Wants an Immediate Response – If he demands you respond immediately when he speaks, calls, or texts and gets angry when you cannot, then it is a problem. If he wants you to check in while traveling, but understands if you are busy, then it is care.
- Constant Calling and Messages – The jealous and possessive man wants details about everything, all the time. If you cannot go to the mall with your family without him checking on you every five minutes, then there is a huge problem.
- He Interrogates – A relationship should not be one long interrogation. If he always wants to know where you are and what you are doing then he is overly jealous. This creates an unhealthy relationship and he wants control.
If he is a little jealous, you can make it very clear you love him and that you are not leaving. There are reasonable ways to help a guy who is slightly insecure. Let him know you can have a conversation, but that you can trust one another even when small disagreements arise. However, if he is going overboard, like mentioned above, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible because it can get dangerous. He will make you feel bad about it, but you need to protect yourself. Remember, you should never accept a controlling or humiliating situation. Think about your future.