Friendships are a great joy in life. A friend is someone we can share our hearts with and who understands who we are, even the weirdness that is in each of us. Developing a friendship with someone of the opposite sex is a gift that many desire, but will never achieve. This is sad because both genders have a great deal to teach and respect.
However, there are times when opposite gender friendships can pose a challenge. One of the biggest challenges is when someone falls in love with their best friend of the opposite sex. The fear of the revelation can be paralyzing at times, but the feelings are often highly intense.
Secretly in Love with Your Best Friend
Just because you have feelings of love for your best friend does not mean you are in love. This is an important distinction to remember. It does mean that you have the right feelings and ingredients to become something great and possibly marry. Friendships that last a long time are stable and can morph into a stable long-term relationship. This is because friends can do things that are not possible when the relationship started out as romantic. Friends can discuss almost anything without fear and are up for spontaneity for the most part. Lovers do not usually start out this way.
If you have started to have romantic feelings for a long-term friend then take these two warnings to heart. The first, is do not rush things. Too often, people confuse closeness and caring for romantic love. Next, do not simply spill your guts about your feelings. Hold back on telling everything right away. Give it some time to be mulled over.
Instead, find another friend you can trust to share your feelings about your best friend. This friend can help you maintain self-control and work through the feelings as the relationship with your best friend grows deeper, uncomplicated by new emotions. There is no need to ruin a great friendship with feelings that may be something else entirely.
Friendship in Romance
On the other hand, if you have been close for some time and feel like you are getting the same message from them, then talk to them as a friend and express some basic emotions. Good friends talk about everything so this should not be off limits if the signals seem to go both ways. If you are really best friends and the feelings are not mutual, it may take time, but the friendship will likely survive.
Most importantly, good friends should love one another. Too many people demand all or nothing type relationships when romantically involved. Whether or not you end up together, a friendship can bring true joy to your life that everyone should experience.
Real love, or true love, is self-sacrificing and pure. That kind of love in friendship and in a relationship is priceless. Even the Bible describes love in this way in Corinthians 13:4-8. Isn’t that an awesome though, that God loves us as a friend and life partner. Make sure as you decide what to do in your friendship, you seek God’s guidance. Have others pray as well.