When you are in the glorious first days of a relationship it may be hard to see the potential trouble spots. Even if you do see red flags, you will probably ignore them in throes of your love.
But if you want to avoid combustion of problems later in the relationship, take notice of any flags that pop up. If you begin to notice a troubling control streak in your partner or the fact that you seem to be squabbling a lot, you probably should start paying attention.
Remember that most people are on their best behavior in the first stages of a romance. If warning signs are already starting to pop up, you may be in store for quite a bit of trouble in the future. Ask yourself if you can live with this type of behavior in the long run.
There are few other issues you shouldn’t ignore:
Lack of Chemistry
If you do not have any sexual chemistry, you certainly can try experimenting. If that doesn’t work and it sees that there is no denying the fact that it just isn’t there, the problem may not ever work it self out.
You have nothing in common
You certainly don’t have to have identical interests, but if you are polar opposites, you may eventually find yourself living completely separate lives. You have to have some common ground, especially if your partner doesn’t value the things that are important to you, you probably shouldn’t try to power past these.
They are controlling and demanding
This issue may be hard to pin down, especially in the first stages of the relationship. Behind your partner’s best behavior may be a controlling personality. Pay attention to the signs and communicate with them. They may not realize they are leaving that impression. Still, trust your instincts.
You have different ways of managing money.
Finances are one of the main things that couples fight about. It is also easy to notice. If you are constantly bickering about who pays for the coffee and who bought dinner when, that is definitely a sign that you don’t view money the same way.
Past issues
If you are already starting to disagree about family or exes, it will probably only get worse. If you are not ok about discussing specific things, set boundaries. This may be difficult if they already have an established relationship with a member of your family or peer group.
Boundaries
If you don’t set clear boundaries at the beginning of a relationship, you may become resentful when they are violated. While we all want to be able to love someone completely without barriers, you must have some specific and established guidelines if you want a healthy relationship.
Communication
Honesty and communicating is very important and is likely the biggest thing you will have to work on in your relationship. Every couple has their ups and downs so establishing a clear method of communication at the outset will help your relationship survive.
Dishonesty and disrespect
If they do not respect you on the first date, they are unlikely to get any better. This goes beyond opening doors and pulling out chairs. If they are insulting to you or anyone else and your gut tells you that things aren’t right, cut this one loose and go out and find someone else.
Cheating
It’s one thing to have a wandering eye, it’s another if their other parts wander as well. Infidelity is destructive because it is not just the cheating, it is the lying and the disrespect that usually accompany it.
Secrets
Most people don’t have deep discussions about finances in the initial stages of a relationship. They shouldn’t be hiding things several months down the road. This is especially important if you think they are concealing large amounts of debt.
Trust issues
Trust is a difficult thing to win back. This is because trust is at the base of all relationships. Even a small trust issue can grow exponentially. It is possible to repair a breach of trust, but it will take a lot of work.
Pointless arguing
A rocky start in communication can get worse as the relationship develops. If you notice that you have several petty arguments that go nowhere, this is a sign of poor communication.