Have you ever been with someone that said their undying love for you, but they refuse to commit? You honestly think that they really love you and that they want to move forward with you in life and commit to you but that never seems to happen.
Being in a relationship can be frustrating and when you feel that you have given all of your time and energy to someone, you do not want to be hurt when push comes to shove.
There are different reasons why guys choose not to commit and here are some of the biggest reasons:
Some people do not want to commit because they have been through a bad divorce. They feel that dating does not have to be something where commitment happens and so they choose to have fun and to be serious but to never commit.
Times have changed and there are rules that are not the same as they were in the past.
Some people want to wait to commit when the time is right. People are taking longer to commit than they did in the past and the reason is often because of finances.
Some couples want to be financially secure before they commit to each other because finances can cause additional stress.
If a guy is not ready to commit to you, this could be the reason. Maybe they are wanting to have a strong and happy relationship, but they have not chosen to commit yet.
When He Won’t Commit
When a guy is not ready to commit, you have to be careful how this changes your feelings. You have to realize that if a guy is with you long-term, but he is not committed to you by words that there is nothing wrong with you.
This means that he is just not ready yet and this could be different things such as having bad relationships in the past, needing to be healed, he is beginning to really fall for you or other reasons.
Men can love someone and not commit to them and this has nothing to do with you, but it all has to do with them. If you are not happy, you have to do what is best for you.
How You Feel
You have to start telling people how you feel. If you are with someone and you want a commitment, instead of being angry or hurt, tell him how you feel.
Your feelings are valid, and you should have worry about commitment and the future. Do not just accept things the way they are but tell him and be honest with yourself and with your guy.
Think about it, are you willing to wait for years until he is ready? What if he chooses to never marry you? Know that your guy might move slower than you on the commitment level and let him work through his own feelings. But, if he is taking too long, move on without him.
Talk to Him
It is important that you find out what is going on with your guy. Take time to ask questions and to tell him how you are feeling. He may not even know that you are thinking about things being more serious.
The truth is, he might not want to bring it up and guys sometimes have a hard time talking about their feelings, but your feelings are valid. Do not talk when you are angry, or you have strong emotions because you do not want to argue but talk to him when you are calm.
Ask him why he doesn’t want to commit and understand his feelings. If he has seen a lot of divorce such as his parents or has been in one himself, chances are he will have a hard time being emotionally intimate with you.
You do not know the reason he is not committing until you ask.
If you are not able to be happy or if you are not getting what you want in a relationship, walk away. By doing this, you save yourself and you allow yourself not to be hurt in the end.
If you feel that your feelings are strong, but he is not returning them to you, be willing to walk away. Remember, you cannot make him change and you will not change his mind.
If you want this guy but he is not willing to compromise with you, he might not be the right person for you. Maybe you have invested a lot of years in the relationship and yet he is still not committing.
He may decide that he wants to commit to you if you choose to walk away. He might decide that he wants to be with you, and he wants to be the man that you want to be before it is too late for him.
You have to know that you are worth happiness. You should not have to settle for someone that does not want to commit to you.
You might be happy for a little bit of time but when you become unhappy, you will see that you have wasted more time than you should have. You have to be patient but when you figure out that he is not going to be with you, free yourself.
This is just another hump in your journey in life and if you have to close this chapter with him, you can open up a new chapter with someone else.
If your guy is not committing, find someone that is ready to commit and find your own happiness.