No matter what kind of relationship you are in, letting go of someone that you love is hard. This can be through divorce, separation, death, or something else. You might not want to let them go because you know it will be painful and you are afraid of what will happen.

What is Letting Go?

Letting go means that you are getting rid of your grief. This means that you are feeling different and when things are good, you think things are right but when they are bad, you feel in your heart that you need to let go and move forward.

Letting go can take many times before you are able to actually do it and when you choose to let someone go, it will be painful. Some people even choose to be in abusive relationships because they are afraid of the pain and being alone.

No one should stay in an abusive relationship and if you are in this situation, you have to make the choice to let go. Letting go can make you feel alone and can cause you not to be able to move forward in your life.

Steps to Letting Go

Here are some things you can do to let someone go:

• Allow your emotions to separate from your partners.
• Figure out what is happening in the relationship and why it isn’t working.
• Know that there will be sadness, hurt and anger.
• Let yourself feel your emotions.
• Write things down so that you can see them from all perspectives.
• Never assume that they are thinking something because you cannot read thoughts.
• Find people to support you.
• Ask for help.
• Use self-care to keep you healthy.
• Help yourself to heal and be gentle with who you are.

Where to Start

You have to start by separating your emotions from your partners. Imagine what you are feeling and imagine that you want to be far away from this person and that they are no longer in your energy field.

Imagine this person outside of your shield and distance yourself and detach your emotions from them. Imagine that your energy is yours and give their back. Send them somewhere else.

Why It Didn’t Work

When your relationship comes to an end, you need to figure out why and what happened. Figure out what made the relationship not work out.

Ask yourself what worked out in the relationship and what was hard and be truthful with yourself. Identify the things that didn’t work out and acknowledge truth.

Allow yourself to learn from your mistakes and to admit things were not great. You can make better connections in the future.

Letting Go

The hardest part of letting go is feeling alone and feeling lost. This can cause you to have pain.

Figure out what the relationship was meant to teach you and learn from it. Do not let your feelings get out of control and if you need to cry, do that to get rid of stress.

Allow yourself to grieve and to go through denial, bargaining, anger, sadness, and acceptance. This will help you to move on.

Write

Take time to write down in your journal all the good things and bad things that happened in your relationship. Do not worry about being judged because you will be the only person reading this.

This can help you to figure out what the real problem was and to make a connection with yourself on a deeper level so that you can heal.

Their Thoughts

You cannot read the mind of your partner and you need to stop obsessing over what you think they were thinking or feeling. Do not be a victim and do not think that you are the only one that was hurt.

Get rid of any negative assumptions that you have and stop thinking about them. Do not think about what they might be feeling and use your energy for something good.

Imagine Their Energy Gone

Allow yourself to let go of their energy and to be happy. This can help you to center yourself and to stop obsessing over them. Learn to focus on yourself and how you need to change.

Direct your energy back to yourself and imagine having a new life that is happy.

Support

Find people in your life that can support you. Do not isolate yourself but talk to friends and family and if you need to, find a therapist.

You will have confusion and doubt, but this is normal. Find someone that you trust that you can talk to and that will support you.

When you feel hurt and pain, talk to someone and get your feelings out.

Control

Figure out what you can control and let go of what you cannot. If you feel that you are not safe, let things go and figure out how to be safe.

Trying to control others is dangerous and can cause you to be obsessed with them. You cannot control what is not yourself and you need to stop trying.

Even though letting go is hard, you need to let go of all of the past pain and hurt and move forward. Trying to control someone will never allow you to be free.

Self-Care

You have to learn to take care of yourself and to find things to do in your life that bring you happiness. Find a new hobby and activity and be kind to yourself.

Do not go and start new projects but make the project about supporting yourself and letting yourself grieve. Learn to heal.

Give yourself time to cry and to be in pain but then move on and center yourself.

Be Kind to You

Letting go is hard and you cannot be angry at yourself for having emotions. Learn to let yourself feel your own feelings and then move forward. You can work through the pain and you will see that you can eventually find peace.