Knowing If Someone is Emotionally Unavailable to You

Knowing If Someone is Emotionally Unavailable to You

Having an emotional connection means things can go from having fun to being serious and many people, especially women, have a desire to find a man that they can share their emotions with. Finding the right guy is hard but what happens if you find that you have fallen for a guy and put in so much effort and you don’t feel that the guy that you like is connecting with you? This could mean that you are with someone that is emotionally unavailable to you.

A man this emotionally unavailable is someone that wants to be with someone, but they want something else. This can leave you feeling like you are unworthy of love or that you are alone or depressed. This can make you feel that the person you are with doesn’t love you or even care about you.

Men are sometimes emotionally unavailable for different reasons and this can fall under temporary and chronic situations.


A person can be temporarily unavailable to you because they are dealing or have dealt with something traumatic or hard int heir life. This could be a guy that has dedicated his time and effort to his family or job or maybe someone that had a health problem.

A guy that has been recently divorced or lost their spouse might be grieving when they get into a relationship with you and so they might have a hard time getting close to you. Someone that has been in a relationship that ended can have a hard time opening up to you.

These reasons will subside as time goes on but that doesn’t mean that you can make this kind of man be emotionally into you.


Someone that is unavailable to you might have reasons that are chronic reasons. Some people that have mental issues or have a hard time with their emotions might not be able to open up to you and might not be able to experience the freedom of loving you like you want.

Their feelings could be hurt, and they might be afraid of connecting with you because they might be afraid that you will break their heart.

These chronic reasons are harder to overcome and sometimes you might need to break off with this person until they get the mental health help that they need.

Characteristics of Unavailable Men

There are some characteristics that you can notice if you are woman and you are wondering if your man is not open to you. If a man shows any of these characteristics, it doesn’t mean that you are with an emotionally detached man, but if they have several of the traits, chances are they have a problem, and you will have a hard time making the relationship work.

Traits of Unavailable Men

A guy that that is emotionally unavailable to you will have a hard time sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. You might feel that talking about what you are feeling is normal and, in most relationships, it is, but if your guy is not interested in talking about his feelings, chances are he has something going on inside and doesn’t want to open up to you.

If your man is avoiding sharing his feelings for you, chances are you might be disappointed with him instead of feeling fulfilled. A man that is unemotional or detached form you will have a hard time trusting you and sharing things with you that you want to share.

Expressing Emotions

Another trait of an emotional unavailable man is that he will have a hard time when you are sharing your feelings as well. He will have a hard time dealing with your emotions because he cannot deal with his own.

If your guy is changing the subject when you talk about your feelings, chances are he is not available to you and you might need to either work through it or move forward. These kinds of men are not willing to take charge of the situations and they have a hard time in normal relationships.

Past Talk

Men that are emotionally unavailable to you will not be very open or honest about their past. They will not want to talk about what they have been through or who they are with.

Chances are that this guy has had a failed relationship and that he does not really believe in healthy relationships. If you are with this guy and he has a dark past, chances are that you need to discuss this and you need to find out if he is going to be able to open up to you.


Do you see that your boyfriend will turn serious moments into a joke each time they come up? If he is sarcastic or joking every time you try to have a conversation, he might be unavailable to you. This kind of guy will find a way to turn around a situation so that it does not have to be serious. He will do this so he can get out of the conversation.


Emotionally unavailable men have a hard time committing to people because they are afraid of a failed relationship. He will want to be casual with you and will want to be semi-close to you but to really get close to you will probably not happen.

This guy is going to avoid being in a deep relationship and he will want to have short relationships or be with a woman that does not require him to commit. If you want to make your relationship stronger and take it to a new level, you will have a hard time with this person.

Emotions and Physical Contact

A guy that is emotionally unavailable will do whatever it takes to get out of talking about feelings and sometimes this will happen through physical contact.

If you find that your guy is always trying to have sex with you so that you do not have to be vulnerable or talk about certain things, this can mean he is unavailable to you.

What Do You Do?

A guy that is emotionally unavailable to you will have a hard time to open up to you and will be hard to deal with. You can see these traits in guys right away and you need to pay attention to the personality of someone you are dating.

There is a difference between being emotionally unavailable and having a hard time dealing with emotions and some people just have a hard time dealing with things.

If you are with someone that does not want to label the relationship then you need to discuss things and instead of being negative, you have to learn to express what is going on and make your guy express what is happening in his thoughts.

A man that is not available to you is not a broken person, he just doesn’t know how to use his emotions. He might have a hard time dealing with his emotions and instead of trying to handle this on your own, you might need to find a counselor to help you.

Go to a good counselor that does couple therapy and let them help you to approach the situation that you and your partner are facing. Tell your partner you want to be with them but that you have to make sure that you are good for each other. If your man is willing to open up to you and to seek help, you can work together to make the relationship work, if he isn’t, it might be time to move on.

If you are in a relationship with a man that is not available to you and you don’t know how to deal with it, talk to a therapist that can help you deal with your problems. You can even find someone online if you do not want to go into a place and they can help you deal with your problems head on.